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madame
hi there, this is me, the owner, CADEN YAP a.k.a the singapore no.1 bastard
birthday falls on 24th MARCH every year


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Friday, December 16, 2005 12:50 AM
phew, finally woke up from one hour of heat within my body. sigh. was so damn sick yesterday, had high fever of 39 degree celsius. was shivering in church. lols. forced myself to go to church even though i was sick, because of one reason. someone make me sad lo. sigh. nevermind la. i will be alright. give me time, and i will give you an answer.

wells, today, i was the last person to be prayed for. and when i was in the alter, i was telling God about the situation in my life. my deep desire. the moment Pastor Lia came before me, i felt a sudden gush of heat into my brain. this heat causes my shivering to go away. but sad to say, i was busy thinking about my illness, that i did not manage to take note of what God has to tell me. sad, saD, SAD! but i know something, God is looking at me of the future, not the current me. i'm glad about it. wells, thank Lord. i had a wonderful time in Your presence today.

you good. i kana fooled by you. nevermind. i don't want to care either. cuz i'm thinking of letting go the person. so..you should know la. lols.

guess what, my air-con is dripping water when i need it the most. sigh. now is only 1plus. and my fever had gone, wonder if it will come back in the morning. usually that's how my illness act. haha. and ann!, of course koala miss me. you don't lie to yourself la. lols. and also, i didn't sleep against the cupboard, i was about to go out and sleep on the curtains, but you were sleeping liao, so i was thinking, if i go out, you will definately wake up. so i stayed lo. then i think the "thing" you said that hit your head, might be what i done to you hair bahs. i just put a xiao qiang on ur hair nia, never i know the impact so big. lols. JOKING. i just made your hair go behind. lols. i was not wasting my time taking care of you la. in the end, ask you sleep properly liao, i went to go rounds, and slept on the chairs. hahas. so it was alright la. and i had the responsiblity to send you home lo. i already very kind liao, send you to school there nia. no matter how tired i am, i will still send you home de. don't worry.

i took your word so seriously, maybe because, i just find that you were serious too. you did make me sad, you did make me happy. the question you ask still make me ponder over it. i just want to know a reason behind it. have i done something wrong? perhaps it's been wrong since the starting bahs. i will be sad, if i were to let you go, but if this is what can make you comfortable and happy, please give me time to adjust myself. i will cry, like what i told you, but i know it will be kept as memories. remember on the 11/09/05, you ask me if there will be feelings. and i said, for now, i do not have, but i cannot tell the future. right now, i can say that i do have some feelings bahs, if not i will not be so sad when you asked me that question. don't be sorry about making me sad. you didn't know that i had feelings for you, do you? lols. i will be alright. tell me, if it is really what you want. because i do not want you to be sad.